In which I Review Fireworks

They are pretty. They have categories, but I will bore the shit out of you if I list them. Suffice it to say there are *good* fireworks and *bad* fireworks.

Good: The brilliant (huge) ones that sprinkle slowly down in a shower of pixie dust. Especially when there's a lot of them.
-The ones that explode and proceed to spin outward like comets on crack.
-The ones that sound like machine guns going off in little spotty explosions all over the sky.
-Any firework that stays lit for more than two seconds.

Bad: Medium-sized color bursts which die as soon as they explode. I see their usefulness in padding the end-of-show, but what's the point of shooting them by themselves?
-little flaming stars which fly up and then go *pnk* in a puff of smoke.
-A "sprinkler" firework which doesn't last nearly long enough. They annoy me.

I like giant pyrotechnical shows when they're well-done. But I often wonder if the shooters have any sort of technique beyond the "sprinkling green star + green burst, repeat". I found myself becoming somewhat bored halfway during the show due to a lack of interesting, long-lasting effects. Not that I ask for the *awesome* comets-on-crack every two launches, but at least intersperse the dull "normal" fireworks with some contrasting ones! There was a huge sky-filling burst that I found really refreshing after an interminable period of small fry, but to my disappointment the shooters did not repeat the performance. Well, maybe I'm being bitchy. The audience seemed to appreciate the special fireworks whenever they went off. Still, a bit of artistic planning would work wonders.

My mother wondered if all fireworks are actually made in China. Oh cruel irony.